Jaybird
by ObeyTheSnarf
Summary: Sequel to Bald Eagle: The chaos continues, blah blah blah, lemons, oc pairings...  This series is done now.  Reasons are in the last two chapters. Thanks for your support!
1. Jaybird

Hey y'all! (:

Please, only read this if you have read Bald Eagle, or it won't make any sense.

Thank you all for **400** reviews on Bald Eagle!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, and Jay is not really from the Gate.

And so, I now present to you chapter one of Jaybird! (don't burn your eyes! O-O)

* * *

_"You're just _giving_ her that glimpse of the _Truth_?!"_

_"Of course not. She will pay. That is where _you_ come in."_

_"What?"_

_"She will pay with her sanity. It's your job to make sure of that."_

_"Ah, of course. I will not fail."_

_"Be careful."_

_"Why? She's just a girl."_

_"Don't fall in love."_

_"Ha! Love? I have no heart! Surely you don't think-"_

_"It would make you weak-"_

_"I am not weak, nor have I ever been. You can't possibly beleive I would fall in love. How preposterous!"_

_"But if you fail-"_

_"I will NEVER fail."_

_"Then go."_

* * *

_"I care..."_

"Who are you?!" asked Harriet, and then very suddenly fell asleep.

* * *

Harriet was standing at the edge of a stream, naked. 

The figure of a teenage boy rose from the stream, scruffy blonde hair soaked. He looked up at her, green eyes gleaming lustfully. He walked up onto the stream bank and put his arm around Harriet, then kissed her.

Harriet's eyes widened as the boy slid his tongue down her throat, then she relaxed and kissed him back eagerly.

The boy pulled away, but led her by the hand into a hollow in the stream bank lined with thick, soft, springy moss.

Harriet sank luxuriously into the moss, and the boy crawled onto her and kissed her again, and she could feel his hard erection against her leg.

He giggled impishly and bit her nipple, and she moaned in exstasy, grabbing at his hair. He grinned and positioned himself above her, then entered her gently, and she gasped at the feeling of his dick inside her. He began to thrust in and out of her.

After some time, Harriet came first, moaning and clutching at the boy's back. He moaned as he cummed into her, then they both fell asleep...

* * *

Harriet suddenly sat up in bed, sweating. "What a weird dream..." She looked at the clock: 9:00 AM. "OH SHIT!" 

"What is it?" yawned the boy from the dream, sitting up and stretching.

"GYAAAH!" shreiked Harriet, jumping out of bed and covering herself with a blanket.

"Geez, you're doing an awful lot of screaming this morning," commented the boy, rubbing his eyes.

"Who are you?!!!" whimpered Harriet, backing up a little.

"Your imaginary friend," said the boy, piercing green eyes staring at Harriet. "And I can be whatever you want me to be, be it a ballet dancer (God forbid!), a happy little elf, an annoyance, a prankster, a friend, or even a lover. Whatever you want me to be."

"Well, um..." said Harriet, a little flustered, "What is your name, anyways?"

"A name? I don't have a name. I can if you want me to, but you'll have to make it up." The boy looked at her expectantly.

Harriet looked out the window, just as a bluejay alighted on a tree branch outside, looked at her, cocked its head, then flew away.

"How about... Jay?" asked Harriet.

Jay shrugged. "Sounds good."

* * *

And that was chapter one!

Disturbed yet?

And yes, there will be more lemons, but not immediately. If you don't like them, you can skip over them.

Well, toodles! (:


	2. Late but not really

6 reviews so far. Good, good. (:

Sorry I haven't updated in a while...

Gyaah, Jay is humming "Chichi Wo Moge" DX...

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

And here is chapter two!

* * *

Harriet suddenly slapped herself in the forehead. "Crap! It's 9:01! And I'm not at school!" She pulled on some clothes and ran out the door with Jay following, nude. (XDDDD!) 

She ran into the dining room, and to her surprise saw Edward sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal casually.

"Ed! What are you doing?! It's 9:00! We should be at school right now!" Harriet grabbed his arm and attempted to drag him away from the table.

Edward wrenched his arm away, scowled, and returned his gaze to his bowl of cereal.

Just then, Al walked up from the basement and into the dining room. "Good morning, Harriet!" he said cheerfully.

"Al! It's 9:00! We're late!" spazzed Harriet, grabbing Al by his shirt collar.

"Wuuh?" said Al, sweating a little. "Oh, you didn't know?"

"Know what?!" shouted Harriet.

"Geez, don't yell," said Al. "We have today off of school."

"Oh. Sorry!" said Harriet, letting go of Al's shirt and backing into Jay, who grinned. Harriet looked back at him, startled.

"What are you looking at over there?" asked Al.

"Wuh?" said Harriet, looking from Al to Jay and then back to Al. "You mean you can't see-"

"Can't see what?" said Al. "There's nothing there but a wall..."

Jay chuckled.

"Shut up!" muttered Harriet.

"Wuh? Uh, ok..." said Al quietly, and walked to the table.

"Er, I wasn't talking to you!" said Harriet awkwardly.

Jay laughed again. "I _told_ you I was your imaginary friend..."

Harriet looked down, blushed, than looked up. "Wear pants," she whispered. "And a shirt would be a good idea, too."

"Okay," said Jay. His body blurred for a moment, and when it came into focus he was wearing a tight-fitting dark green shirt with a large collar and a spike on each shoulder and a pair of light green spandex pants. He grinned.

"Why spandex?!" mumbled Harriet.

"I (or you) can take them off like normal clothes if I (or you) want to," said Jay, demonstrating by lifting up his shirt a little to show his belly button (and lightly defined abs, mmm abs... :P), "And I can also make them disappear." The clothes fuzzed out of focus and then revealed his, err... body.

Harriet blushed and averted her eyes.

The clothes reappeared. "You know, it's okay for you to look," said Jay, looking into Harriet's eyes.

"To... look?" questioned Harriet, not quite getting it.

"At me. Naked. All of me. I know you know what I mean now," he explained, moving closer and looking deeper into her eyes. "I can read your mind."

Harriet looked back into his piercing eyes, blushing. "Uhh..." she stammered.

"You don't have to talk out loud..." he said gently, and kissed her lightly in a way that made her want more.

"Hey, are you okay?" said Al from the table. "You look a little red. You should be careful, you might have a fever."

"No, I'm fine," said Harriet weakly.

"Harriet, you really look like you need some rest. Do you agree, brother?" said Al.

Ed looked up at Al, scowled, looked in Harriet's general direction and then back at Al, said "Hummf," and went back to his cereal.

* * *

A little later, after Harriet's mom had gone to the gym (and brought Naomi with her), Al and Edward went into the backyard to spar, and Madeleine and Skyler went out to watch, leaving Harriet "alone" in the house.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Shari's house... 

Oh, wait, _she's_ still asleep at that time of day. Lazy-head. XP

* * *

Well, at Magi and Sari's house... 

"Pie!" said Sari to her elder sister.

"Blarg!" replied Magi.

"Mleh!" countered Sari.

"Guuh!" grunted Magi.

"Spleen?" inquired Sari.

"Geh," answered Magi. "Spuh wuh-wee wuhuh?"

"Merf," replied Sari with a nod.

"Sporgle!" said Magi violently.

"Darn," said Sari in disappointment, sticking out her lower lip.

"..." said Roy, eyebrows furrowed and mouth a little open.

* * *

Back to Harriet... 

Harriet sat on the edge of her bed, studying the floor intently, trying to ignore the imaginary friend that seemed to be studying _her_ intently.

"Umm... Aha!" said Harriet triumphantly, spotting her sketchbook on top of a pile of random junk. She picked it up, along with her little gay emo frog pencil case. (don't ask XD)

"Jay..." said Harriet hesitantly.

"Yes?" replied Jay.

"May I draw you?" she asked, blushing.

"Of course!" said Jay.

Harriet began sketching carefully.

In a few minutes, she looked at her finished drawing. "Augh, it looks nothing like you... oh well."

"That's okay," said Jay. He stared blankly at the floor for a moment. "Harriet, I'm going to tell you this directly: You really don't have to be so shy around me. I understand everything there is to understand about you... you don't have to try to hide anything from me. And it's not like I'm real or anything," he added, shrugging. "You can do whatever you want with me, and I will never hurt you like a real person would..."

They were both silent for a moment.

"I understand," said Harriet quietly.

* * *

And that was chapter two! 

Now, I'm going to ask for a vote on this (but votes from Magi, Sari, and Shari won't count):

Should there be a lemon in the next chapter?

Please give your answer in your review.

Well...

Toodles! (:


	3. Sporks and Fighting Fair

Hiya peeplz! (:

12 reviews.

Well, there won't be another lemon for a while.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

Well, here's chapter three. (:

* * *

"SPORKS! SPORKS! SPORKS! SPORKS! SPORKS!" shouted Magi and Sari, skipping around Roy with hands together. 

"What the are you doing?!" shouted Roy, turning a little purpler.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Sari, beaming.

"PIE!" shouted Magi.

"I should've known that candy wouldn't shut them up..." muttered Roy to himself.

"MORE CANDY?" shouted the girls much too eagerly, glomping Roy to the ground.

"Helllp," whined Roy, looking at Riza.

"Sorry sir, but I find this situation much too amusing, and you are not in any danger."

* * *

In the backyard, the Elric boys were doing so many flips and cartwheels, it looked like a circus act as they bounced around, dodging and delivering punches and kicks with impressive speed. 

"Whoaaa," said Madeleine, entranced by the movement.

"Kick him! No, kick him there! Now punch him! No, no, no!! You're doing it WRONG!" shouted Naomi.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the basement, the ferrets were running around. 

Quozl crept stealthily towards Bacchus, then suddenly pounced on him and bit his lower back.

"Hey!" squeaked Bacchus in surprise, nipping at Quozl's face.

Quozl yelped and jumped back, dooking.

Bacchus opened his mouth, hunched his back, wagged his tail, and dooked back at him.

Quozl ran off, still dooking with his mouth agape, and looked back to see his brother charging towards him at full speed.

Bacchus jumped on him and grabbed his ear in his teeth, and Quozl whimpered and whipped around, scratching at Bacchus' face to get loose.

Bacchus let go and made a grab for Quozl's nether regions. Quozl bounced backward. "No cheap shots, Bacchus!" he chittered, then made a leap for _Bacchus_' nether regions.

Bacchus squealed in pain and bit viciously at Quozl's head. "I thought you said no cheap shots, dick-head!" he screamed.

"_You_ can't do any cheap shots is what I meant," snarled Quozl.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about _that_!" hissed Bacchus, leaping at his older brother.

* * *

-I now interrupt this fanfic for an important announcement- 

I had a phase where Jay turned into Edward, then several other tv show characters.

I would put it in the fanfic, but it was much too cruel and hurt Jay very much, and I don't think I have the heart to write it down as such. It's one of the few things I truly regret.

It was back when I didn't realize that imaginary friends could have feelings, and I treated him very badly. He did whatever I said, but I did not allow him free will and it hurt him a lot.

This will not be in the fanfic, but I think it is important for you to know.

* * *

"Brother, why are you so mad at Harriet?" asked Al, launching a kick. 

Ed dodged. "I don't know what you're talking about!" he replied, punching with his automail arm.

Al grabbed Ed's fist. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Edward!"

Ed wrenched his hand free and made a sweeping kick from the side. "Yeah, so what?!"

Al jumped out of the way. "Why are you being so rude to her?! You're ignoring her, that's just plain mean!" Al punched.

Ed blocked. "You've seen how stupid and grumpy she is! She just started bawling for no fricken reason!" He kicked.

Al jumped. "Think maybe she HAD a reason?" Al punched.

"What?!" Al's punch caught Edward in the stomach.

* * *

And that was chapter three.

So yeah.

Toodles! (:


	4. Peekaboo

Halloooo! (:

I got two more ferrets for my birthday. 8)

So soon there will be two new characters in this fanfic. B)

Yay, 15 reviews! (:

Disclaimer: I do not own fma.

And here is chapter four!

* * *

Outside, the neighbors were all pressed up against the fence watching the Elric brothers sparring. 

"What are you talking about?!" snapped Edward.

"Edward, maybe you made her mad by accident during the school day," said Al, kicking.

Edward dodged and punched Al in the stomach. "Yeah right! I'm not listening to this bull, Al!"

"Ack!" acked Al, winded by the punch.

* * *

"You asshole," grumped Bacchus, lying flat on the floor. 

"Shut up, Bacchus, I _always_ win," panted Quozl, also flattening himself against the floor.

"No, you always cheat, asshat."

"Lier. You're just a poor loooooosseeeeeerrr," taunted Quozl.

"Heh, asshat is a funny word," giggled Bacchus.

"..."

* * *

"Jay..." whispered Harriet. 

"Yes?" Jay whispered back, licking his lips.

"Can I..." her voice trailed off, and she looked at the floor.

"Yes, you may kiss me," answered Jay softly.

Harriet awkwardly tilted her head, unsure of how to begin a kiss.

"I'll start, if you like," said Jay.

"Mmhm," mumbled Harriet, nodding.

Jay leaned in close and touched his lips to Harriet's, then slid his tongue into her mouth a bit.

Harriet touched his tongue with hers, and the two tongues slid around eachother for a while. Harriet found this to be overall strange and slimy, but pleasant, and was vaguely reminded of earthworms mating. She giggled through her nose, and felt the corners of Jay's lips go up a bit.

Jay broke the kiss and exhaled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Shari was dragging her lazy ass out of bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked back at the rumpled mess of sheets. Envy was lying among them, naked. 

"Hey sex kitten, did you sleep well after that crazy sex we had last night?" purred Envy.

Shari's eye twitched, and she screamed.

Suddenly, she was sitting up in bed. Hanging upside-down from the ceiling, Envy was staring her in the face.

"You were mumbling about kittens, and then you started screaming. Are you all right?" he asked concernedly. He eyes grew wide. "Do you have nightmares about fluffy kittens, too?"

Shari sighed with releif.

"I knew it!" piped Envy.

Shari scrunched up your face. "Envy, are you hyper?"

"Huh? I'm not Envy!" the boy stuck out his tongue.

Shari rubbed her eyes, and her vision cleared. She suddenly realized she was face-to-face with Wrath.

She screamed.

* * *

And that was chapter four. 8)

Sorry I haven't updated in so long! )8

Toodles!


	5. Look! Plot development!

'Allo peeps!

17 reviews. Keep it up!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

WARNING: There is a lemon in this chapter.

So I now present to you... chapter five!!!

* * *

The ferrets were now fast asleep in their hammock. 

Quozl sneezed.

Bacchus suddenly had an urge to scratch himself under the chin. He did so, shaking the hammock so much that Quozl woke up for a moment.

Quozl sneezed again.

* * *

Al fell to the ground. "Brother, I think you may be overreacting a little..." 

Edward snorted. "Bullshit. Everything you say is bullshit. I shouldn't even be listening to this bullshit at all. It's all bullshit."

"But brother-" objected Al, starting to tear up.

"Humph," humphed Edward.

"Brother, you're so _mean_!" wailed Al, running into the house.

"You're such a baby!" Ed shouted back.

* * *

Envy was soaring in the wind on the wings of a jet-black crow when he heard a scream coming from the house. He dipped down and flew through a window, changing form as he ran down the hallway. 

When he got to the door to Shari's room, he found the door wide open. "Shari?!" he called out desperately.

"Shari's not here," said a little boy with dark hair standing in the middle of the room, "Can I take a message?" He grinned.

"Wrath, you little chimp! What did you do with Shari?!" spat Envy.

Wrath giggled and jumped out the window, and Envy pursued him.

* * *

Harriet's gaze traveled to Jay's lap. She gave a startled squeak, blushed, looked back up at Jay's face, blushed redder, then looked at the floor. 

Jay put his hand under her chin and turned her head towards his.

Harriet tried to avoid looking into his burning green eyes, but failed and felt both swallowed up and pierced by the harsh greenness. She could feel her own soul being searched, poked and prodded in every nook and cranny, and at the same time read Jay's passion and lust, which were reflections of her own.

Harriet broke from the trance and realized she was kissing Jay again. She drew back. "You don't have a soul..." she muttered fearfully.

Jay sighed. "True, but why on earth would I want one? They cause utter confusion, mood swings, misunderstandings, and selfishness. They cloud the mind and inhibit actions. Not to mention they're excruciatingly painful."

"Painful?" asked Harriet.

"Hasn't anyone ever hurt you without putting so much as a physical scratch on you?" His eyes gleamed knowingly.

Harriet looked at the floor and felt a lump in her throat, remembering her argument with Edward.

"You need to have a soul to be hurt like that."

Jay grinned.

Harriet realized she had been oogling his bulging crotch out of the corner of her eye. She blushed and looked at the floor again.

"Do you want a better look at that?" said Jay softly.

"Uuh..." stammered Harriet, blushing redder, but nodded.

"All right..." Jay smiled and pulled down his tights.

"Oh..." said Harriet, staring.

Jay grinned. "I know what you want..."

Harriet pulled off her clothes, and Jay took off his.

They kissed passionately for a few minutes, then Harriet lay down on the bed, Jay rolled onto her, and she spread her legs. Jay paused for a moment.

"Do it," whispered Harriet.

Jay gently slid into her.

"Ngh..." she gasped.

"Ssh... I'll give you a minute to get used to it," said Jay softly.

They lay still for a while. Harriet nodded her head, and Jay started thrusting in and out of her, slowly at first. She moaned and focused on the sensation.

* * *

-Meanwhile, at somewhere where sex is NOT happening...- 

"Please can I squish it?" whined Roy, pouting.

"No," said Riza irritably.

"Pleeease?" asked Roy again.

"NO." Riza's answer became more adamant.

"Pleeeeeeeeease?" begged Roy with biiiig puppy-dog eyes.

"HELL NO!" shouted Riza, totally losing it.

"Just let me give it one little squeeze, Hawkeye?" asked Roy hopefully, getting even whinier.

"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BOOBS OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE BALLS, MUSTANG!" screamed Riza.

"Um, lieutenant (spelling?), I was talking about that squishy dog pillow you're holding. Y'know, that microbead thing or whatever it's called..." Roy sweatdropped and blushed.

"Oh..." Riza blushed beet red.

"Aaaawkwaaard, dun dun duuun..." shouted Sari.

Magi burst out into hysterical laughter. "What the hell?!" she managed between giggles.

"Geez, Magi, you're slow," commented Sari.

"Shaddawp..."

* * *

"36, where are we?!" 

"I don't know, 35."

"Where are they taking us, 36? They must be missing us at the lab by now, 36..."

"I don't know. I shall bite you if you keep whining!"

"But 36, what did the human mean by 'You're going home now, little guys' when it took us? Is it authorized?"

"Those papers looked awfully important. Hey, maybe this is 'home.'"

"But the human said we're just gonna be here for a day or two... doesn't that mean we're going somewhere else? That would be sad. These humans are nice..."

"But we haven't gotten to run around here at all. I suppose they don't want us to get lost."

"I don't know where we are... how am I supposed to get to the Quozone to report?"

"Frankly, I think it's silly that you have to disguise yourself before you go there. You're so vain..."

* * *

Quozl suddenly realized he hadn't seen Chink in over a week. 

" I hope she's okay..." he sighed, and pulled out his laptop. "Computer?"

"Yes Master?" chirped the laptop.

"When was the last time leuitenant Chink reported to the base?"

"Eight days ago, at 11:04 PM, Master. On another note, the leuitenant's fur has been shown to contain traces of paint. Shall I investigate the fur samples further, Master?"

Quozl cocked an eyebrow. "Continue."

"The paint residue seems to be coming off. Shall I remove it?"

"Yes. Display process on screen."

"... bzzzzt process complete."

On the screen were displayed a few hairs, some of them pearly white, others a delicate cinnamon, as opposed to Chink's apparently bright red and bright white coat.

"What is she hiding from me..?" muttered Quozl.

* * *

And that was chapter five.

Plot development, dun dun duuun...


	6. Big Time Skip

Ok, it's been a while. A long while. As in, over 3 years.

I apologize. These will be the last two chapters of this series, and will be posted in both Bald Eagle and Jaybird.

A lot has happened since the last chapter.

The details mentioned about the non-FMA characters in this chapter are true, aside from obvious things like the idea that the ferrets can talk.

* * *

Gravel was pulled up from the ground and was sucked in as the portal opened, shining alchemic circle patterns on the walls of the old barn. Swallows fled their perches in the rafters, chirping loudly as they departed.

Harriet stood, arms crossed, watching the boys, plus Riza, who had spent four years in her world prepare to leave forever. Her red-dyed, buzz-cut hair rippled in the strange wind as she forced the tears from welling up in her eyes.

Bacchus, Quozl, and Fujiko (formerly known as "Chink") cuddled in a pile a safe distance away.

Fujiko sniffled. "I wish Zuzu was still here to say goodbye to them too," she whispered tearfully.

Quozl licked her ear comfortingly. "I'm sure your little sister is watching us all from heaven. I bet she's smiling now, too."

"Yeah." Fujiko brightened up a bit. "I think you're right."

Quozl smiled a bittersweet smile, thinking of his own impending death. He was already nearly eight years old, old indeed for a ferret, and he had been showing signs of adrenal disease for at least a year now. Even comparatively young Fujiko had been diagnosed with the disease, but she was being treated with implants to slow the growth of the tumor, and was a good candidate for surgery whenever the money was available.

Fujiko was no longer as young as she used to be, in fact, she was a year or so from entering middle age, but to Quozl she seemed as playful and spry as the day he met her. She still had so much energy, but Quozl was prevented from active play by his arthritis and could only watch her play with Bacchus, who, despite his age, was still fairly healthy.

Zuzu had been taken away from them prematurely at the young age of three by complications of a gastrointestinal ulcer.

* * *

Al stared silently into the crumbling floor.

"I'm so sorry Magi couldn't be here, Al," Harriet murmured, giving him a hug. "Believe me, if she could, she would go with you, but I think it's best that she and Sari stay in their new home in Arizona. She'll move on, and you need to, too." She smiled and ruffled his hair. "Find a nice girl in your world and marry her."

Harriet turned to Roy, who was a few feet away. "Sari misses you!" she called.

"Well, I don't miss her!" snapped Roy. Riza squeezed his arm meaningfully.

"I wish you all luck in your world," Harriet said, smiling sadly.

"Wait, you're not coming with us?" shouted Edward.

"Nope."

"Why?" he demanded, stomping angrily over to her.

"I can't," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"But I… I don't understand!" Ed stammered.

"I'm in college, Edward."

"You could drop out, go to school in my world!"

"I have to become a herpetologist, here in my world. I want to do some good for my own world, saving the snakes and salamanders and lizards... I can't help my world if I'm in yours. You know you won't be able to come back."

"Please, I know you can help my world too!" Edward cried.

"And I need my bipolar meds!"

"We can find something!" he barked desperately. "We can find you medicine and you can save the lizards and we can get married and have kids!"

"Edward, I'm gay."

* * *

Dun dun duuuun…


	7. The End!

Here it is, the very last chapter.

* * *

"You're WHAT?" gaped Edward.

"I'm gay," Harriet repeated.

"But what about the time we-"

"That was high school. I was confused and unmedicated," she sighed. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He took a step backward, shaking. "Damn you, stupid d**e! How could you? How could you lead me on like that?"

"I was confused! I'm sorry, Ed. I only love women."

"Please, I don't-"

"You can live without me, Edward. Find Winry. Propose to her. You two are perfect together."

The corner of Ed's mouth raised a little. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, good luck with the lizards and the women, then."

"You too, Ed."

"Ed, let's go! We have to go before the portal closes! Get Harriet and come on!" shouted Al over the sound of the barn being pulled apart.

"She isn't coming!" Ed shouted back.

"What? Why?"

"She's a lesbian!"

"Called it," Riza whispered to Roy. "You owe me a date."

* * *

The end. 3

In case you were wondering about him, Jay has since become my artistic muse. We are no longer intimate, and he has some interesting ideas to share.

I may come back to some day to write other fanfictions, but don't expect it to be soon.

Oh yeah, and I'm 18 now so it won't be as weird/slightly illegal if I ever write more lemons.

Thank you everyone for the support I've received during the making of these fanfics! It means a lot to me!

This is ObeyTheSnarf, signing off. So long, everyone! ;)


End file.
